Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Communication in Relationship

One of the most important aspects of a successful relationship is effective communication between both parties. Lack of communication in a relationship can result in hasty decisions that can even lead to separation.
We need to understand the reasons behind communication breakdown and how they can be avoided to ensure a fulfilling relationship.

Sometimes stress of work makes a person withdrawn, reserved and easily irritated. They don’t like to discuss anything with their partners. Financial problems can also be the cause of communication breakdown between two people. When they try to resolve issues, their arguments result in more problems and eventually they stop discussing things. Many couples start hiding their personal problems from each other. They are afraid that if they opened up they will irritate their partner even more and therefore they choose to keep quiet. Remember that lack of communication is the first step towards a failed marriage.

Sometimes mistrust and doubts about your partner’s loyalty result in communication breakdown. You silently start observing their actions and don’t make any effort of discussing your doubts with them. Sometimes when some third party gets involved in two people’s personal matters they make it a point to open up only in front of that third person instead of discussing things between themselves. Always try to resolve your problems yourself.

When you don’t live together for a long time it also results in lack of communication and eventually total breakdown. If your partner has to live somewhere else, make sure you two talk on a regular basis and never let distance come in the way of your love. It’s true that these kinds of relationships are hard to manage but once you have a made a decision you have to stick with it no matter what happens or how physically distant you are.

Birth of the first baby is also sometimes a cause of communication lapse between the partners. The mother has to give more and ore time to the baby and the father has to spend more and more time in the office. As a result they get a chance to talk after a long pause and when that happens there are complaints and disagreements over trivial issues. Sometimes they argue over what the baby needs and how it should be handled and cared for. When things get out of control they stop their communication altogether and become withdrawn.

Reasons behind lack of communication vary from couple to couple, but the important thing is you shouldn’t let these problems come in the way of your relationship. Always talk things out between yourselves before they get worse and never let lack of communication lead to misunderstandings and distrust in any relationship.

Two Best way to build Communication in Relationship

The relative success of every relationship you maintain in life is built and hinges on communication. It is the foundation and bedrock of your bond with other people. Communication: Can it get any more basic than that?

No. And as a result, you may assume that we are all experts in the field of good communication. Of course, such an assumption is false, and even absurd. Because as we well know, the most common relationship predicament, when you boil it down to the essence of the problem, is communication.

We have difficulty with it and submit to almost unmanageable urges that compel us to act in a manner divergent from good relationship behavior. Men are the main offenders in this epidemic. We have that massive male ego to contend with for one, and an almost primordial instinct to "win" at every endeavor we partake in.

Make time for her
That's right; make time. Why the blank stare? You set aside time to watch sports, eat and have sex, don't you? Why should communication with your woman be any different? You have to block off an hour or two for quality time with her, whenever possible. Prioritize it. Make the effort to sit down across from her after a long day to discuss work, friends and your relationship. Heck, you can talk about the weather for all I care. Just talk.

Don't force the topic toward the relationship but do seize the opportunity to mention how well things are going or perhaps bring up areas you need to improve on to give her what she needs. In addition, don't shy away from explaining to her what you need from her. Too many men have a problem with this.

Take the time as you sit together, cook together, travel together, or eat together to voice your dissatisfaction with certain aspects of the relationship. Just do it in a calm fashion, so as not to alarm her. Reassure her that you're happy (if that is the case) with the overall relationship; you just want one or two things to change. Whatever you want to discuss, just make the time for it and make it a joint effort.

Let her know you care
This is where men get bit in the behind. Our competitive nature compels us to try to win every fight, to the point where we forget the one simple tenet about relationship conflict: There is no winner. It's time to stop thinking of every fight as a chance to get the upper hand and use rhetoric until she admits you're right.

That's not the end goal you should want in the long run. Because if it is, your woman is going to resent you before long. Not good. Which brings me to my point: Let her know, no matter how bad, how intense and how passionate the fight, that you care. Amidst all your rage and even when tempers flare, take a deep breath and do something to let her know that when all is said and done, you love her.

Touch her arm, stroke her hair, put your palm to her cheek, or just say the words, "I love you." Of course, some women don't appreciate such gestures in the "heat of battle" and may shove your hand aside or turn their back. Don't take it personally and don't get upset. Just get the message across that you care, even if she isn't ready to make up.

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